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I’ve noticed that gaining exp from kills or quests is often weirdly delayed. Also when I kill monsters I don’t seem to always get exp, it seems to only happen sometimes. Is this intentional?

Experience gains aren't immediate. Each time you gain exp, it gets banked in a holding area which gets released periodically (30 seconds or so, I forget the exact timing). You also get some small exp periodically without doing anything. So if you kill 3 monsters quickly, you'll see the combined exp from all 3 at the next periodic interval